First thing’s first: there is no recipe. Just let destiny take the lead.
Step One
Make a few good Southern friends. Become intrigued by their welcoming nature, their monogrammed chevron makeup bags, their Kendra Scott jewelry and their prevalent use of polka dots. Surprise yourself with a little positivity. Replace (almost) all the black in your wardrobe with confident, colorful prints. Get to a point where you convince yourself that you could join a bible study. Because all of a sudden, you want to be as grounded as they have been their whole lives.
Step Two
Move to North Carolina. Be overwhelmed by the abundant sunshine. Buy a house with your husband after eight years of renting. Watch proudly as he assembles the crib. Order a mounted polka dot giraffe for the nursery. Realize that life is brimming with possibility.
Step Three
Later on, some day, when you have a free moment, swing by your local Harris Teeter for some shrimp. Cook it up with red bell peppers, fresh spinach, some garlic, pepper, and lemon juice. Accompany this happy medley with stoneground grits, a sliver of Kerrygold and a healthy serving of Irish cheddar.
Step Four
Pour out the dregs of your discounted blend and savor that best damn moment — when not everything is gravy, but you think it could be soon; when your stomach is empty, but your heart is full.
You are definitely on the right track here. Joining a bible study is so South. The correct first step, though, is to convince yourself you could visit one. A proper southern ladies’ bible study has the right food (like deviled eggs and bundt cake – both brought in the appropriate dish or Tupperware). But the most essential element is what they call fellowship. Fellowship is a code word for conversation that induces laughter. You will know you have found the right one when you realize that, sometimes, they never really get around to the bible study part.